Mass Effect 3: Becoming Commander Shepard
by christopher.wright.73550794
Summary: This is the story of what happened to me after playing mass effect3 (HA, I WISH). The events of my own imagining start after the prologue, which just gives a brief explanation of what happened at the end of the game so *****reading this story will give SPOILERS about the ending*****


Prologue (catch up)

Boom! Crash! Budda-budda-budda! At long last Sheppard is on the final assault, no turning back now. Sheppard narrowly misses the reaper lasers, making a dash for the conduit. A Mako is flipped by an explosion, but Shepard avoids the impact. He sees his team, Tali and Garrus, running close behind. Another Mako flips over Shepard and explodes near his squad, just shy of lethal range. Sheppard vaults over the wreckage to help his team. Finding Tali injured He carries her behind cover followed closely by Garrus. Sheppard checks Tali isn't too badly hurt "Normandy, do you copy, I need an evac right now". Joker reply's over the com "were taking heavy loses Comasskkss... on our way commander". The Normandy fly's in and lands for the evacuation. "here, take her", Tali reaches out and pleads "Sheppard" failing to control her tears, "you gotta get outta here", "I can't stay behind", "Don't argue with me Tali", don't leave me behind", "I need you to make it outta here alive Tali, get bake to Rannoch, build yourself a home", "I have a home, come back to me" .Shepard see's Harbinger eyeing up the Normandy "GO!".

Part 1: Gamer input.

Approximately twenty minutes later I go through the most contradictory and un-thought-out argument of my life, If you can even call it an argument since Shepard basically say's "yep sound's good" before selecting suicide option A, B or C, or alternatively galactic genocide. "The paths are open, but you have to choose". Having made my pointless choice I was struck by an immeasurable surge of rage, I wanted to Blog or even Vlog, get the emotion out, and tell the world I hated BioWare and all affiliated with it. But my emotion changed. I was sad, really sad, I cried, I couldn't stop myself. Sheppard was my embodiment into the world of Mass effect, a connection to… at that moment I realized it wasn't a lost connection to Sheppard I was missing or the amazing world he lived in, it was Tali. I actually thought for a second I may have stronger feelings for Tali than the commander himself. I shook the thought from my mind, she's not real.

The credits finished and I was shown a short completely unconnected clip of a star gazer and a child, believing he was the catalyst I squished his head between my thumb and index finger. The next screen thoroughly made sure all the anger come back, and then some. Quote: "Commander Sheppard has become a legend by ending the reaper threat. Now you can continue to build that legend through further gameplay and downloadable content". "What the hell is this bull ?*%!" I said aloud. That was the last straw; I leaned over the console to get to the power switch. I heard a crack as I pressed hard, as if were the switch that had made me so mad, I exhaled as my thoughts drifted back to Tali. My tear ducts let out one last tear, which fell straight into the vent on the console. I saw the drip "aw damn it; hope that doesn't touch anything important".

Sitting back in my desk chair I thought about what could be done to fix the ruined franchise and whether or not I'd be willing to pay for it. My day dreams were interrupted by a loud whirring noise; I looked at my console, which was on. I looked at the power socket, and that was off. An Xbox does not come with internal batteries. The console started buzzing and crackling, I left my chair and backed away from the malfunctioning machine. Energy surged from the console in spectral blue bolts of energy. They pushed the bedroom door shut, before I even considered it as a viable escape route, then continued to advance across the room towards me. Finding me backed against a wall they proceeded to ensnare me in there grasp. I tried to escape but they were too strong for me to fight back. I called for assistance "HELP!" my voice sounded strange, it was static and echoed. Suddenly they viciously yanked me inside the console.

My vision was struck by the view of billions of strands of binary coding. It moved in lines in both directions in a corridor formation. I marvelled in awe at the spectacle for a minute or so, almost forgetting to wonder "where the bloody hell am I and what happened to my body", I to was made up of the same strands of code. After this remark, the coding started rapidly flickering between 1 and 0 my form changed. In its current format, I guess I can call it that; it was hard to see what changes were occurring. I wondered if there was anyone else here, however unlikely, so I called out "Is anyone out th…" my voice still sounded strange, it was still static and echoed. But there was another change this time. Without warning I was fired at tremendous speed down the corridor. I spotted a bright blue light at the end of the tunnel. On reaching the light I re-entered a more familiar physical form, but I knew it was not my own.

Part 2: This might be goodbye already.

Boom! Crash! Budda-budda-budda! Once again recovering the blessing of vision, I saw a familiar view. About a mile away was a beam of pale blue energy firing up at the sky, the conduit. Defending it was a gigantic, cybernetic squid; Harbinger. The body I occupied was running straight for them. First thought: I'm commander Sheppard now aren't I, second thought: That squid is Harbinger and he is really pissed at me isn't he, third thought: What the hell just happened! My thoughts were interrupted when Garrus ran past "come on slow poke, get moving, those reapers aren't going anywhere without a little motivation from ol' stick here" he was followed closely by Tali "Sheppard, we need to move, keep up". In compliance I took control of Sheppard's body, which fortunately seemed to have some kind of auto pilot, and sped up to re-join the formation.

Everything looked so real, either I have a great imagination or it is real. On my way to lead point of the squad; I found my eyes rather fixated. I told myself I was examining the detail of the suit looking for a reason to believe that it was all in my head, but then again I wasn't going to ogle _Gurus'_ figure. I was swiftly reminded that it wasn't a good idea to be unfocused on the battle field; a nearby squad gets vaporized in the intense heat of Harbingers beam. Stay focused, I need to think of a way to survive this, and if I can do that, maybe I'll get more than a visual; not right now, don't think about that! Once I was In front, and undistracted, I started to consider various courses of action. After a short while I remembered, Garrus and Tali, I have to call in the Normandy for the evacuation. For an excuse to do so I'd have to let them get injured by the Mako explosion, which would be a hard thing to do to Tali; Garrus is a tough old bird, he'd be fine. We were getting close to the Mako explosion point and I was still debating with myself. I saw the Mako that would trigger the event ahead of us, I have no choice.

With several cusses and a badly executed vault over the Mako wreckage, I managed to re-enact the event without embarrassing myself too much. After carrying Tali to cover I asked her "are you ok?" she looked up at me and I stared into her eyes. They were like bright stars on the horizon at dusk; Bioware's renderings of her could never have done them justice. "I'll be ok"; Garrus pushed my shoulder compelling me back into reality, wait can I call this reality? I prepared myself for the evac request. "Normandy, do you copy I need an evac right now". "we're taking heavy loses Commasskkss... on our way commander". Just like in the game, the Normandy fly's in and lands for the evacuation. I walked Tali to the hanger bay entrance; I nearly walked on with her but remembered I had other things to do.

"Garrus, here, take her" I passed Tali over and turned away "get to safety" I started walking, forgetting the conversation wasn't over. "Shepard" I trembled, I couldn't stand there and tell her I'd be fine, I've seen what will happen If I fail. "Look after her Garrus" I continued walking. "don't you dare ignore me Sheppard!" This was just wrong, how can I do this to her. I have to say goodbye, so I turned and walked back to her. I reached out to the weeping Quarien, and held her for the first time; she whispered in my ear "come back to me". I wanted to tell her everything would be fine, that we would be together again, but I couldn't lie to her "I love you Tali", could that be true? With great effort, I tore myself away from her warm embrace "you need to go!" I stepped out of the safety of the Normandy's hanger and watched the frigate take off.

Content they were safe, I turned my attention back to the matter at hand. Seeing Harbinger I remembered exactly what would happen next "ah shit, this gonna hurt". Harbinger primed his primary weapon and locked on to me. I heard the laser burn through the ground, as the beam drifted towards me I saw the heads up display shield indicator drop in the blink of an eye, the visor cracked in the heat, the blistering heat. I fell to my knees, then collapsed entirely on the dirt before me and blacked out.

Part 3: Whose mind is this?

When the white light cleared from my eye's, I took in my new, new surroundings; I saw dead trees and bushes, park benches and bin's, and a thick grey fog, I couldn't see more than 2 yards away. I wasn't wearing armour anymore; but it wasn't Shepard's casualwear either, it was mine. I was in my own body, in the mind of Shepard; no this was my mind, not Shepard's, but then why was I having his dream? This was all getting a little hard to process; it didn't help when the kid showed up and said "who are you".

He didn't run; he just stared at me just as confused looking as I felt. Before I could answer, a figure walked in through the mist, it was Shepard. I didn't say anything, I couldn't. Shepard knelt down beside the boy and said "don't worry; he's here to help, but not to stay". My lungs found some air, or whatever it was in this realm, "wait, what do you mean, how can I help you?" the boy spoke again, "can he make the voices go away", Shepard answered "only if he listens to the right ones", "how will he know which ones to listen to?", "He has seen the past present and future of my consciousness; what he knows will guide him".

"Ahhhhh" the boy cried "he's coming" I turned to see another figure moving towards us. "Get outa here" Shepard yelled, "but, how, I don't know how I got here", "run!" Before I could see the new entity, I made a break for it, I ran from whatever it was as fast as I could. The bright light came back, I was waking up.

Part 4: It's all in his head.

When I came around, I turned myself over to check if harbinger was leaving like I expected. At first I thought I saw him floating away but straining my eyes I saw that it wasn't Harbinger, It was like a cloud of black smoke drifting away from the real Harbinger. He looked slightly transparent so I nearly missed him. I thought it best not to stare; I don't think he knows I can see him. I heard a voice, "you will endure this for those you love, you will continue into the abyss and ignorantly condemn them all" was that Harbinger what did that mean? I didn't hear that when I played the game. "Rise up and destroy life in the galaxy as you know It." wait, is Shepard indoctrinated, could this be what they were talking about? "I said rise!" I hoisted myself up, grabbing the Carnifex as I did; I was going to need it. I took the first step forward and fell back down to all fours "get up weakling, now!" that isn't going to get irritating, being told to get up every time I fall over on my crippled legs, not irritating at all. After dragging myself back to my feet, I took a more tentative approach to mobility; I began again, limping towards the conduit.

Why did Harbinger cripple me like this if he's just going to egg me on? He could have just let me through; he could have just missed on purpose. Was it to for humiliation, to make me crawl though the dirt to reach my goal, only to find that they deceived me? Well they can think again, they may have had Sheppard's mind under their control, but not mine! I will take the humiliation, I will crawl through all the shit they put me through, but they will not deceive me! The adrenalin pumped though my body, this was my body; it felt far too real not to be. The Husks rallied towards me, I raised my gun to fire, yelling a battle cry; I pulled the trigger. I picked them off one by one, it's the first time I've fired a gun; and what a gun, but something wasn't right. As the Husks were beaten back by the impact of the shots they faded into black smoke…

"God damn it!" they weren't real, even though I wasn't Sheppard; some of the transmitted thoughts were still coming through, and I believed they were real. I had to focus, next up was Marauder Shields; whether he was real or not, whether I could see if he was real or not I had to take him down. Marauder Shields jumped out of his hiding spot, I was ready for him; I took aim but I did not fire, he didn't shoot either. I could hear the rumble of Reaper technology, I lowered my weapon and focused, I stared at him square in the eyes. "You are not real" he raised his weapon to me, "you are not real" he pulls the trigger, closing my eyes; I yelled it once more "you are not real!" I felt no gunshot. I opened my eyes and the Marauder had gone, all I saw was a faint trail of the black smoke. Pleased with myself I laughed, "Fuck yes! I can do this" I was confident, I started walking towards the conduit again; walking, not limping, I delved into the conduit.

Part 5: Hall of the dead.

Being launched up the conduit felt familiar, it was like when I was in the digital space; I might as well give it a name. But the "landing" was nothing like my last flight; I was fired out of the conduit' at least six feet into the air, I hit the ground with a resounding thud. Stumbling onto my feet, I found myself in the blood-drenched halls of the citadel's underbelly. "Shepard." I flinched; it was Anderson through the com-link "Shepard!" I started getting up "Anderson, how'd you get up here?", "followed you up, but we didn't come out in the same place… at least I don't think we did." I felt inside my ear; looking for the ear peace to press it so to hear him better. I found what I was looking for, it didn't feel right so I removed it, the shell was charred and the electronics were fried. "What's your surrounding look like?" I tossed the scrap metal aside, started walking at a swift pace and responded "it's dark, there's blood and dead body's everywhere." for now I decided to play along. "Sounds familiar, I'm in a dark hallway… reminds me of your description of the collector base.", "you think there making a reaper in here?", "it's likely, round up the bodies on earth then send them up the conduit for processing, why not?" by this time I was way ahead of where Shepard was in game on the route to the control room, I was already crossing the bridge. "Walking pretty quick there, thought you were injured?" I looked around for him he wasn't there "how do you know how fast I'm going" all I heard in return was static. I made my way up the incline in to the control room. I saw a dark black smoky figure looming over the console; he looked like a smear of black paint, stroked onto thin air. I approached it, half way across the room the figure lurched back and turned towards me. He screeched a confusing remark "the end will not change, it is inevitable, you must die". "What do you mean the end won't change!? How can you know what's going to happen, who are you?". Then I remembered, he was in my imagination, how could I have forgotten so quickly? "your mind is weakening… heh heh heh, soon we will own you just like Shepard", so I was right Shepard was controlled "No, you can't control me, I know too much. I can break free!" Suddenly I had the most excruciating migraine I had ever experienced. My eyes felt like they were pressing out of their sockets, I saw the smoky frame around my vision. I'm losing, I can't do this, I'm no stronger than Shepard; what was I thinking? "What am I hearing? Maybe I was wrong about you, your weak; you don't care what happens to this world, to me, to our friends, to Tali!". It was the other Shepard, he sounded a little off, and I did a Paragon play through? "Yes I do.", "What!", "yes I do!", "I can't hear you!", "YES I DO!", "then do something about it!" I looked towards the console, it was at least ten feet away, the way I felt it might as well have been on the other side of the galaxy. "GO NOW!", "I can't, I don't have it in me, I'm sorry." Tears rolled down my face, "pathetic" Shepard's voice fades into my subconscious. As I wallow in my misery, I start to think about the whole reason I'm here to begin with, "Tali". A blinding light appeared and drifted towards me "Is this it, do I go home now?" the alluring being touched the ground and the light faded, "you can do it, I believe in you", "Tali, is that you?", "come on, you can do this" I started to drag myself across the floor towards the console, it was the best I could do. More of Shepard's friends started appearing, lining the path to the control panel "Had to be you, someone else might have gotten it wrong.", "Guide this one to where the traveller never tires, the lover never leaves, the hungry never starve.", "This form is not yours, who are you? Where is Shepard commander?" These are individuals that Harbinger knows I trust, so logically these should be deceptions from him, what are the reapers trying to do? They aren't threatening me, there encouraging me. Wait, in the dream, Shepard said I had to listen to the right voices. I still don't understand that, should I be listening to them? "Let's get this over with" I pulled myself up to the control panel. After looking over a large proportion of the buttons and switches, I found the "open arms" button and pressed it with a sigh of relief that I'd gotten this far. I kneeled on the small platform and waited for it to be elevated to the… "oh shit, not him again" I'd forgotten about my last conversation with the catalyst, although this time I'm not limited to specific speech options, If worse comes too worst I can at least "give him an

Then it hit me, there encouraging me to activate the catalyst, how could I be so stupid! I was here to change events and I've gone done exactly the same thing's Shepard did!

part *: Awakening?

When I woke, I found myself in a very clean room with some cards and flowers by the bed, I was obviously in a hospital. Perhaps it was a hallucination after all, induced by vapours from my malfunctioning games console, a sensible conclusion. when I attempted to move my abdomen objected painfully. When I managed to uncurl from the fetal position I got up, found a mirror and saw my body, or could I even call that. It was buff, tanned, complexity hare-less and had no place below a gaming addicts neck, But it wasn't, That and the head were Sheppard's to. If all that wasn't enough a salarian doctor walks in "you should not be out of bed" at that moment I collapsed, before blacking out I see her run in, "Sheppard! Is he OK? What happened?","Minor trauma, don't worry Miss vas Normandy he should be fine in a few more weeks."


End file.
